The Mindful Mug

It’s been a while since I brain text typed. As promised this is unedited. Not proof read these are my thoughts in this moments. Sorry if I swear and things aren’t spelled quite right 

It’s been a bumpy few weeks. The cafe has been so quiet and it’s been scary. I’ve cried a few times. I have felt like shit to be honest. I’ve not wanted to get out of bed. I have felt exhausted. I still do a bit. But I know if i persevere and get up, and show up, even when it hurts, things will work out in the end. 

I say I could do with a break. But I honestly don’t know what I’d do with myself. It’s moments like this that I sit and savour. The ones where I’m on my own. I guess I’ve been a bit overwhelmed today. It’s been a busy week, a Crazh weekend and fuck me it’s been hot. But right now, I am sat on the brayford. I can hear the ripples in the water. The boats, as they bob along the little ripples. Gentle music befell the Brazilian bar behind me. The odd gull and bird in the air. I’m on my own it’s bliss. 

I’ve felt a bit shit the last week. The cafe has been dead, the hot weather and road works happening all over town, meaning the car park near me is closed. It’s been horrible. I’ve not wanted to get out of bed. I have wanted to quit. I’ve cried, heck I even set up my bath so I could have a good cry the other day. I sadly smiled to myself as I thought shit I’m literally preparing to cry. Not sob. Full on belly roars. I have to do that sometimes to release what I am feeling. I find it hard to express my emotions, so when I feel like I need it, I’ll give myself the time and space to do it. Someone asked me how o practised mindfulness not so long ago. I had no idea, it was Digi Psyc ages ago. But once I’m asked a question I will ponder it and work it out, in my own time. 

I guess moments like now. I feel mindful although I am typing on my phone I feel grounded. I am listening to the birds, the fish, the ducks, the background music. I’m here, I am now. I can take each day as it comes. 

Things are happening. I’ve had the most amazing email from Abby access this week. I am discussing potentially being a work experience host for their learners. Something that is on my long term plan. I hope I can eventually train to become a real trainer and help give people a chance. It broke my heart when they said they struggle to find employers to take people on. Just cuz someone has additional needs, doesn’t mean they are unworthy a chance to learn. We just all learn a bit differently. 

All in all. It’s been a great end to a stressful few weeks. I know there will be bumps in the road. But I’ve got to navigate them as they come. Ideally I want to be in a position to be able to home school my eldest by the time he’s in secondary school. I’ve got a year to get my shit together get this cafe going and be able to have more time to help Louie as he navigates his troubles. 

I best get back home but this moment has been nice. 

Love 

C x

P.s as I’ve coped from notes I realised I need to upload my logo. Forgot about my branding. I had a quote for some branded takeaway cups. But they were too expensive. So I opted for stickers and I am so excited to put stickers on EVERYTHING 🤗